When I found this quote from Malcolm X a few weeks ago, I had a shock. 

Anytime you see someone more successful than you are, especially when you’re both engaged in the same business – you know they’re doing something you aren’t.

Why I was shocked ? Because I have long believed that this sentence was from my father since that’s exactly what he told me when I was a child and teenager and I complained of not being first in class. By extension, over the years I have developed the same thought for anything else in my life.

✔ Jealousy and envy are pointless

When I was 5 or 6 years old, when we were first in class, I don’t know if it was quarterly or at the end of the year, the director gave your name, you have the right to raise the flag in court and you receive books as gifts and I loved that. And then one day, I have not been first and that made me sick. I sulked for days refused to say why. My father as usual left me in my corner knowing he would get nothing from me as I would not have decided to talk about it myself. Then when I‘m tire, I gave the reasons for my torment. He kindly asked me : As you’re a smart girl, I’ll ask you a question that I’m sure you’ll be able to answer : not eating well, pouting and being unhappy gave you the first place? Very surprised by this question, I could see only one answer, no I was always third. Then he asked me : what have you achieved with your behavior? I couldn’t answer anything but the truth. I had a sore head and I felt very hungry. My father rarely laugh out loud but when he did whatever the problem was eating me, it’s always disappeared instantly.

Conclusion : Being jealous of someone sucess or talent is not going to make you more talented or successul. This lead me to part 2

✔ Turn jealousy and envy into inspiration and action

When I was in high school, last year was very demandind. I complained of a student who always had better grades than mine, because whatever I did, during the first quarter of the year,  I was always behind him. One day I talked to my father by insinuating that he was the favorite of the teacher. Of course, that was nonsense envy and jealousy.

My father and I have had several conversations about it. And as usual he swept my bad faith with diplomacy by asking me questions like this : Have you ever had a conversation with this boy? Have you ever read one of his copies? What would you say to get closer to him to see what he does and you do not do? Of course I have not supplanted him a quick one, but I gain a friend whom I gradually managed to pass him before on several occasions during the rest of the year.

Conclusion : take responsibility for your successes as well as for your failures and act properly.

I do have moments when I feel insecure but I no longer get disappointed or jealous of others, since I have experimented that it’s up to me yet to be willing to put the efforts at doing the right thing to get the right praise. More than ever, I cultivate a positive state inspired toward personal growth meaning that I always try to surround myself with positive people, I do my best to help people reach their goals and I want to collaborate with ambitious, Intelligent, attractive people, who can handle others people sucessfull.

You turn readers, what do you think of Malcolm X quote or my father’s advices ? Does others’ success is making you feel bad about your own accomplishments in the past or today ? Can’t wait to read your comments !