When I found this quote from Malcolm X a few weeks ago, I had a shock.
Anytime you see someone more successful than you are, especially when you’re both engaged in the same business – you know they’re doing something you aren’t.
Why I was shocked ? Because I have long believed that this sentence was from my father since that’s exactly what he told me when I was a child and teenager and I complained of not being first in class. By extension, over the years I have developed the same thought for anything else in my life.
✔ Jealousy and envy are pointless
When I was 5 or 6 years old, when we were first in class, I don’t know if it was quarterly or at the end of the year, the director gave your name, you have the right to raise the flag in court and you receive books as gifts and I loved that. And then one day, I have not been first and that made me sick. I sulked for days refused to say why. My father as usual left me in my corner knowing he would get nothing from me as I would not have decided to talk about it myself. Then when I‘m tire, I gave the reasons for my torment. He kindly asked me : As you’re a smart girl, I’ll ask you a question that I’m sure you’ll be able to answer : not eating well, pouting and being unhappy gave you the first place? Very surprised by this question, I could see only one answer, no I was always third. Then he asked me : what have you achieved with your behavior? I couldn’t answer anything but the truth. I had a sore head and I felt very hungry. My father rarely laugh out loud but when he did whatever the problem was eating me, it’s always disappeared instantly.
Conclusion : Being jealous of someone sucess or talent is not going to make you more talented or successul. This lead me to part 2
✔ Turn jealousy and envy into inspiration and action
When I was in high school, last year was very demandind. I complained of a student who always had better grades than mine, because whatever I did, during the first quarter of the year, I was always behind him. One day I talked to my father by insinuating that he was the favorite of the teacher. Of course, that was nonsense envy and jealousy.
My father and I have had several conversations about it. And as usual he swept my bad faith with diplomacy by asking me questions like this : Have you ever had a conversation with this boy? Have you ever read one of his copies? What would you say to get closer to him to see what he does and you do not do? Of course I have not supplanted him a quick one, but I gain a friend whom I gradually managed to pass him before on several occasions during the rest of the year.
Conclusion : take responsibility for your successes as well as for your failures and act properly.
I do have moments when I feel insecure but I no longer get disappointed or jealous of others, since I have experimented that it’s up to me yet to be willing to put the efforts at doing the right thing to get the right praise. More than ever, I cultivate a positive state inspired toward personal growth meaning that I always try to surround myself with positive people, I do my best to help people reach their goals and I want to collaborate with ambitious, Intelligent, attractive people, who can handle others people sucessfull.
You turn readers, what do you think of Malcolm X quote or my father’s advices ? Does others’ success is making you feel bad about your own accomplishments in the past or today ? Can’t wait to read your comments !
Another great beneficial read Grace. I also use my father advice count your own blessings because jealousy is counting the other fellow’s blessings instead of our own.
Heather, glad I could help and thanks so much for sharing your thoughts.
Grace, what I find fascinating is that you never judge. Jealousy is not really easy to get rid with it !
Happy to read you again Tiffany and hanks for the feedback.
Thanks Grace for taking the time to share with the readers! I like what you say it’s take responsibility to grow and you must see and learn from your successes and from your failures. I learn more from my failures and make sucess for me when I know that nobody else but me can change it for me.
Ale
Sharing is loving Ale, I like what I do. Thanks for sharing your insights.
Great bit of info here, and thanks for the quote. Malcom is one of my hero. Moto na moto na chance na ye les jaloux vont maigrir il n’y a pas de jalousie chez moi.
Thanks for the feedback Michel…Je suis en mode « kié, kié, kié »……
Wow, this blog post is really awesome. Thanks for the tips.
Karen, glad you found it helpful!
It’s hard not to be discouraged with the success of others comparing myself to others is absolutely a struggle of mine. I have not conquered it, but I deal with it better, this can help too.
Jérôme, it’s all about trying to do better. Thanks for sharing.
Good quote indeed Grace. You tell the truth. I like this french quote which is my motto mon verre est petit mais je bois dans mon verre.
Glad you liked the quote. And thanks for sharing yours as well, if my memory is right it’s from Alfred De Musset ?
Your father was great like this quote. I always to be inspire by people who do it better, competition is good jealousy if it’s to do better it’s worth it otherwise like you say it’s pointless. Merry christmas.
Jordan, thanks for sharing your insights. I hope you had a nice christmas as well ?
Thanks Grace I like you blog and this is really helpful for me. :):)This may seem like a silly question but I shall ask anyway. How can I share this on google + ?
Glad I could help Angela. Thanks for the question dear, my father use to say that they are no such thing as a stupid question, all the questions are relevant. Well, for now I cancelled the share buttons but you can copy/paste the post link if you want to share it….
When I was a kid I envy intelligent, popular, attractive people at school and I promise myself that someday I will be like this too,it’s take a lot of work, confidence, luck but I am what I wanted to be today and I try to give that my child. I hope I suceed. Sei grande Grace. Buon natale
Definitely appreciate your awesome feedback Giovi. Thanks for sharing your experience, for your compliment and the christmas wishes, I hope you had a good one too.